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At

What girl likes it in all her holes at the same time?
Mrs. Potato Head.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
My wife treats me like a God – every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering.
Your parents are the greatest comedians in the world.
They made a joke decades ago and we're all still laughing at it.
Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
Assholes.
How do you call stage diving at Oktoberfest?
Krautsurfing.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toucan.
Toucan who?
Toucan play at that game!
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”