According Jokes

According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your body heat with me.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
According to physics, light travels faster than sound. If that is really the case, why can I hear the car behind me honk before I see the traffic lights change?
According to Greek Mythology, Chiron was a half-human, half-horse doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
My bank is really proud of me.
According to them, I have an outstanding balance!
According to the lights, the bathroom is unoccupied right now.
According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions.
Can’t say I’m surprised.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
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