A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants to sleep with you, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" |
Joke: The Lie-Sniffing Robot
When you've got a robot that dishes out slaps every time someone lies, maybe it's sometimes best not even to know the truth at all!
Joke: Did He Forget Her Birthday?
This is what happens when you don't remember your wife's date of birth!
Joke: The Magic Scales
A woman goes over to a weight machine while waiting for a bus. To her amazement, the machine talks back to her and appears to be able to predict the future...
Interior Design Fails: You Won't Believe This!
Some people have to live with really absurd home designs that make no sense. Take a look.
These 15 Bumper Stickers Are a Real Hoot!
There are some brilliant bumper stickers out there. Here are 15 that really made me honk my horn.
Hilarious: These Christmas Cartoons Made Me Laugh Out Lo
This is the best time of the year to laugh all together as a family with these Christmas funnies.
I Dare You Not to Laugh at These Silly Signs
Who on earth put these pointless signs all over our streets?!
14 Halloween Decorations for People with a Sense of Humor
You've got to be impressed by these crazy Halloween decorations!
Read These Funny Night Quotes for Chuckles Before Bedtime
Read these funny night quotes for chuckles before bedtime.
George Carlin Had a Funny Way of Telling the Truth!
Mr George Carlin's legacy will be fondly remembered for many years. There are not many people who can entertain, amuse, and delight by asking a simple question.
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
Hilarious: These "translators" Should Quit Their Job...
This is hilarious!! See These Signs in ENGLISH!!
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
Classic Comedy: Getting Rid of Whom?? (Adult Humor)
I can't stop laughing at this hilarious scene...
In Pictures: Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards 2023!
Enjoy the hilarious winners of the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023!
Simon's Cat Presents: A Day in the Life of a Cat!
This colored episode brings us a day in the life of Simon's Cat. Let's see what that looks like...
Airports Are Full Of Weird and Wonderful Different Sights
Airports are full of weird and wonderful different sights.
15 Quirky Spanish Idioms That'll Brighten Your Day
Who doesn’t love a funny idiom? Today, let’s learn about some hilariously quirky Spanish idioms.
The Art of Comedy: A Hilarious Abbott & Costello Routine
Enjoy this rare vintage skit of the masters of comedy, Abbott & Costello.
These Photos Could Only Have Been Taken In China...
China is a unique country full of unique characters, and this picture series proves it!
You Will Crack Up Reading These One-Panel Cartoons!
Comic artist creates witty yet hilarious single-panel comics. Check out some of his best ones.
These Funny Photos Show People's Relationship With Food!
There's no doubting that everyone's relationship with food is different, and this leads to people creating hilarious memes related to it! Take a look.
Hilarious: The Gunslinger and the Evil Voice! (Rude Humor)
This western is so funny and breaks all conventions. Only watch if you don't mind foul language!
These Cheesy Pickup Lines Are Bound to Make You Cringe!
Here's a selection of 40 of the cheesiest pickup lines we've ever heard that are bound to make you cringe!
The Singing Pug That Cannot Run - Hilarious!
Loca is a very lucky pug living in Ireland. With a loving family and lots of space to run outdoors, it's a great life. But Luca isn't very good at running, due to a non-harmful brain disorder. It's the only way it affects her, and she doesn't seem to
Hilarious: Some Translations are Too Funny to Correct!
When you're running a business in some far-off land, there's no excuse for not using Google Translate to make a sign. These disastrous results are hilarious!
22 Hilarious Observations Made in Different Countries
22 hilarious photos that show that some stereotypes about certain places do have a little bit of truth to them. Rude to some, amusing to others, we present to you our selection of best “Meanwhile, in…” photos.
Classic Comedy: Lucy Goes to Work at a Chocolate Factory
What happens when Lucy and Ethel go to work at a factory?
These Have to Be the Most Oddly Specific Signs Ever Made
Laugh out loud at these hilariously specific signs that will leave you wondering who exactly they were made for.
Forget Your Worries and Laugh With Some Hilarious Cartoons
Take a break from the hustle and bustle of your everyday life and enjoy these one-panel comics by artist Dave Coverly.
The Signs at This Gas Station Made the Entire World Laugh!
Surely enough, these hilarious signs will have you laughing for hours!
Classic Comedy: About the Importance of Stuff
One of the funniest and smartest comedy routines in history!
Hilarious: 16 Absolutely Laugh-Worthy Construction Blunders
These construction fails will make you question everything.
Hilarious: 15 Signs You Love Coffee Just a Bit Too Much
This is how you can tell if you don't just like coffee, but love it!
Funny Photos: These Delivery Men Have an Odd Way of Working
We all enjoy getting a package in the mail, don't we? It's not always so straightforward though. These 20 delivery fails well have you laughing out loud.
FUNNY: Do These Engineers KNOW What They're Doing?
This hilarious collection is all about engineering fails, construction mistakes and silly designs. Take a look for yourself!
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown and Her Naughty Situation (Rude)
We come back to our favorite foul mouthed lady in this hilarious sketch.This will definitely get you laughing!
18 Hilariously Weird Signs We Just Had to Share
Warning signs aren’t supposed to be funny, right?
This is Definitely the Funniest Song About Flight Discounts!
If something looks too good to be true, it usually is. So these ladies decided to write a hilarious song to warn us all!