Self-confidence is the path to success - it is the inner belief in your ability to control yourself, your body, your behavior, and the challenges that the world places before you. Therefore, it is clear to us, as parents, that one of our most important tasks is to develop this trait in our children and to instill in them the faith, self-confidence and spiritual strength that will help them succeed in life. But although this knowledge is in our minds, the big question facing us at this stage is how can we build this significant trait in our small child, who may not yet have the skills and understanding to appreciate how important it is?
You’ll be happy to hear that there is a solution and that as parents you can instill in your children the sense of self-confidence that they need and help them improve and upgrade it, regardless of their situation or feelings, rather only through you taking the right actions and having the correct approach; How is it possible you ask? Check out the following 6 helpful and proven tips bellow, implement them and discover for yourself.
"My child has been a handful since year one," says Summer Blackhurst, mother of 3, as far as her young son is concerned, adding that she was afraid to send him to kindergarten thinking that he would continue to be3 so. Today, Summer says, she knows that if she gave in to this concern and didn’t send her child to kindergarten or try to find alternative solutions, she would miss all the compliments the teacher gives her child and his excellent integration with the other children.
Sumer's conclusion to this matter – which should also be a lesson for you - is that in order to build your child's confidence, you must put aside all your fears and do the things that are right for your child that work for them as well as for your benefit. Ultimately, you have to choose whether to continue feeding your fears and risk transferring them to your child, or rather to cultivate your hopes and desires and focus on the positive qualities that can make them successful.
One of the most important things for your child's development of self-esteem and self-confidence lies in the fact that you will first need to understand them rather than seek to be understood by them. What does this mean? The more you can identify your child's feelings and understand their words and actions more effectively, the more you will see that they’ll have a greater desire to listen to you and believe what you say and communicate to them.
For your child, you are a lot more than just the two people providing them with food, shelter, and love, you are the ones who serve as an example for them. They watch you and does what you do, not necessarily what you tell them to do. Therefore, the important point here is for you to be able to identify and absorb their mindset, which will give you the tools to convey and project their self-confidence.
You should start by recognizing that there is no child who can be 100% protected from mistakes, failures, and mishaps along the way. We can say with confidence that your child will also reach a certain point where they will suffer a severe blow to their self-confidence, and it may even seem harder and more intense than what other kids go through. However, it is almost inevitable, and we should always be prepared for when it happens.
You must have faith that your child can cope with difficult times and challenging tests and get through them successfully - because only if you tell them that you’re sure they’ll land on their feet and make you proud, will they. You should understand that while parenthood is no walk in the park, your child's growing process isn’t either. You have to work hard with them to let them be who they want to be; All they need is to be led down the right path and given the space to grow, and they’ll have the confidence they need to get through everything.
"Kids are confident when they're able to negotiate getting what they want," says Myrna Shure, Ph.D., author of Raising a Thinking Child, whose research suggests that even the youngest child can be educated to solve his or her own problems. The key is to just bite your tongue, stop your natural urge to intervene in your child's favor and let them manage the situation.
For example, if your child comes to you complaining that another child has taken their toy without permission on the playground, don’t rush to argue with that child or with their parents, rather ask your child what they think is the best way to get their toy back. Even if the first idea that comes to mind is to take the toy back by force, challenge it and explain what might happen in that situation, and then continue to ask, "What other ways can you think of getting the toy back?" – You’ll be surprised to see what original and interesting solutions may come up in such situations, which of course will greatly enhance your child’s self-confidence.
As we’ve already emphasized, you are your child’s role model, meaning whatever behavior it is that you exhibit - you can expect that they will eventually learn from you and imitate you. Therefore, it is important that you focus on the things that come out of your mouth just like you should be conscious of your actions, making sure to create a positive atmosphere for yourself and your child when they are around. Positive self-talk, for example, is a good way to improve our ability to overcome difficulties - as opposed to sarcastic comments many people speak to themselves when they do something negative. Bottom line, to develop self-confidence in your child, you should also treat yourself most positively.
Children naturally like to spend time and play with friends their own age, but know that it is important to ensure that your child spends part of his or her time around older people, so that they can expand their worldview and way of thinking. Doing so will give them the power to speak, deal and even connect with people older than them who are not you, which of course will increase their self-confidence. Know that various studies have also examined and found that close relationships with adults - such as a teacher, uncle, a babysitter or a parents' friend - make children more resilient and stronger.