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Tomato Jokes

Quotes
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
Miles Kington
Kitchen Puns
If you missed essential tomato cooking class
You can’t ketchup.
Salad Puns
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Pizza Puns
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Garden Quotes
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous
Vegetable Puns
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Lettuce Puns
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
One Liners and Short Jokes
I went to a cafe for breakfast the other day and ordered eggs.
The woman behind the counter asked me, "How would you like your eggs cooked."
I said, "Does it affect the price?"
"No, not at all." she replied.
I said, "In that case I'd like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please."
Running Puns
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
Peach Puns
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
Bacon Puns
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Ketchup Puns
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
Cherry Puns
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.