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Stuff Jokes

Garden Puns
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
They say this stuff makes clothes really soft. Want to come over and have a feel?
Crow Puns
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."
Movie Pick Up Lines
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
Funny Money Quotes
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
Funny Marriage Quotes
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”—Wendy Liebman
Cosmetics Puns
My wife misplaced some of her makeup...
She said, "I can't find my concealer".
And I said, "Wow, sounds like it's some good stuff then!"
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
Does your Dad own Snapple, because you're made of the best stuff on earth?
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
“I used to believe my father about everything, but then I had children myself and now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.”

- Brian Andreas.
“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”

- 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting'.