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Piece Jokes

Funny Parenting Quotes
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”—Erma Bombeck
Yard Puns
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Classic Pick Up Lines
I thought this was a bar, but I must be in a museum because you’re a piece of art.
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you a cake? “Because I want a piece of that.”
Funny Animal Quotes
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”

- Wesley Bates.
Meat Puns
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Strawberry Puns
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
Frankenstein Puns
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Zombie Puns
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Cherry Puns
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
Food Quotes
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
Utensils Puns
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.