Missing Jokes

I saw a flyer about a missing flower, would you call your florist and let him know you are safe?
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
"Why?"
"Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing."
- Couples Retreat (2009)
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Heaven called, they're missing an Angel.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you a Victoria's Secret model? Because heaven's missing an Angel.