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Mate Jokes

Gorilla Puns
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.” —Jay Trachman
Crocodile Puns
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Mouse Puns
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
Ear Puns
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
Canadian Pick Up Lines
I saw you and I pictured us as swans, we could mate for life.
Travel Puns
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
Chess Puns
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"
He said "Cheque , mate."
"Check, mate."

"Checkmate."

"Hey! Can I get the check, mate?!?"
Heart Puns
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Appliance Puns
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.