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Hope Jokes

Orange Puns
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Friendship Quotes
“I hope we’re friends until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the s*** out of people.”
— Unknown
Funny Parenting Quotes
“No one is full of more false hope than a parent bringing a chair to the beach.” – @simoncholland
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”
—Michelle Pfeiffer
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I hope I'm on your list of things to pick up today.
Pot Puns
"Can you help me get this pots and pans drawer in order? Something seems stuck here", My wife said one morning.
To which I said, "Sure honey, I hope this pans out"
Food Quotes
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
Peach Puns
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Whenever I see you my heart races. I hope to win first place.
I hope you know CPR, baby because you take my breath away.
Music Pick Up Lines
Are you a practice room? Because I want you and I hope you're not taken
Utensils Puns
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Easter Pick Up Lines
I’ve been looking for you, and I hope you’re as sweet as jelly beans.
Garden Puns
Over quarantine, I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
Funny Aging Quotes
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash