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Heard Jokes

Pot Puns
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Don’t wok away from me!"
Halloween Pick Up Lines
I heard there is a vampire on the loose, you better stay with me.
Tableware Puns
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
If I Had a Dollar... Jokes
If I had a dime for every time I heard this joke, I’d have a dime. Never heard this one before!
Utensils Puns
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Elf Puns
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I heard milk does the body good, but man, how much have you been drinking?
Language Pick Up Lines
I heard kissing is the language of love so...
Do you wanna start a conversation?
Troll Puns
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Mall Pick Up Lines
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
Giant Puns
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Drugstore Pick Up Lines
Are you a pharmacist? Because I am a patient and I heard you are patient lovers.
Friendship Quotes
“Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental facility.”
— Unknown