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Fortune Jokes

Funny Birthday Poems

God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Otter Puns

What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie

Theater Puns

Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

One Liners and Short Jokes

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

Cookie Puns

What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.

Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.

What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!

Ocean Puns

What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.

Squirrel Puns

To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.

Anti Pick Up Lines

Are you a fortune cookie?
Because you're always wrong.

Fish Puns

What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.

Funny Limericks

There was a young lady of Cork,
Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.
He bought for his daughter,
A tutor who taught her,
To balance green peas on her fork.

Food Quotes

“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown

Whale Puns

What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.

Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.