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Decide Jokes

Art Puns
Why did the girl decide to become an art dealer? Because she wanted more Monet.
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
Bed Puns
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
Werewolf Puns
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
Thanksgiving Puns
If you can’t decide which side to take to Thanksgiving.
Bringing your side piece is guarenteed to cause drama.
Crow Puns
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
Onion Puns
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Gnome Puns
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Parrot Puns
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Puns
Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
Because it's super natural.
Yard Puns
During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, despite our numerous arguments.
It was a case of he shed, she shed.
Stove Puns
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Funny Money Quotes
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
Plant Puns
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.