“Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.”—Rory Elder
"Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." - Anonymous
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” —Henny Youngman
“Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure, you do more before five than most folks do all day.”— Sinbad
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” — Ambrose Bierce
“In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.” - Rita Rudner
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.”- Billy Connolly
“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”—Groucho Marx
“Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” — Marilyn Monroe
“Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.”—Richard Pryor
“Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”—Dennis Miller
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin
"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." — Clint Eastwood,
“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” - Joseph Barth
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” - Kathy Mohnke
“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” — Raymond Hull
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” —Rick Reilly
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal." - Anonymous
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash.”—Joyce Brothers
"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous