What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.