If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?