What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!