What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!