Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!