Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.