How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.