Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it