How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.