What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.