How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.