How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.