How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.