Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.