Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.