What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.