Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.