I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.