What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!