What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!