Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.