Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.