What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.