What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!