What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!