If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!