I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
If trees could kill you, they wood.