Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.