What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!