What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.