What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.