What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.