Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.