Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.