What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.