An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.