Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.