My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
What do you call a father who’s against hand bags?
Antiperspirant.
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”