How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.