What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
What do you call a father who’s against hand bags?
Antiperspirant.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.