We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.