During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.