Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.