I found some internet history from my wife on my computer where she'd typed "how to leave husband". It got me really worried.
How did she find out the password to my computer?
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking smart guys...
A system administrator has 2 problems:
1. Dumb users
2. Smart users
Me: "Siri, why am I alone?"
Siri: *opens front facing camera*