What Jokes

Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Wifey material.
You know what they say about a man with big feet... he wears big shoes.
Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me!
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material!
What is it like to get paid smoldering at the camera while wearing expensive clothes?
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
"Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?"
Do you know what I did last night? I put Easter eggs in a heart shape for you to find!
So, what do you turn into at midnight?
If you think I’m hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight.
I don’t want your candy, what I really want is your number.
I don’t know what the trick is, but you certainly are a treat.
You’re what I’m most thankful for this year.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?
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