What Jokes

You’re what I’m most thankful for this year.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?
Those pants you're wearing are creating some capital growth if you know what I mean.
What are the drop rates on those pants, babe?
Do you know what I did last night? I put Easter eggs in a heart shape for you to find!
Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Wifey material.
You know what they say about a man with big feet... he wears big shoes.
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
"Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?"
So, what do you turn into at midnight?
If you think I’m hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight.
I don’t want your candy, what I really want is your number.
I don’t know what the trick is, but you certainly are a treat.
I know what gift I want to give you tonight.
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