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Ups

Little Johnny Buys a Horse
Little Johnny Buys a Horse Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
If I told you I work for UPS, would you let me handle your package?
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.