Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
People often accuse me of "stealing other's jokes" and being "a plagiarist." Their words not mine.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Why do native Americans hate the snow?
Because it is white and settles all over their land.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Someone just stole some grass from my garden.
Strange I know, thought robbers stuck to their own turf.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!