Their

“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
18 year old's can exercise their rights in government and on me!
I just went to a fireworks shop and asked for their biggest bomb. They gave me a picture of you
Did Spotify fix their mistakes? Because you will no longer be the hottest single after you spend time with me tonight.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time.
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time
"How do you compare apples and oranges?
By their nutritional value."
- Marshall Elizer
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
Excuse me! Do you know where’s the Victoria's Secret shop in this mall? You look like one of their models!
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