Sugar Jokes

Those aren't sugar plums dancing through my head, it's all you.
Hold the sugar, please. You're sweet enough for me.
Well, hey there! I sure don't need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Donut take this the wrong way, but I just want to sprinkle you with sugar and spice.
Do you need more sugar or am I sweet enough?
Did you have sugar? Because you got a sweet smile.
This coffee is too strong. How about a kiss because you are the only sugar I need.
Are you sugar? Because I just had sweet dreams about you.
Are you sugar? Because I want you in everything I have.
Are you powdered sugar? Because you're sweet, and fine!
Canary-birds feed on sugar and seed,
Parrots have crackers to crunch;
And, as for the poodles, they tell me the noodles
Have chickens and cream for their lunch.
But there’s never a question
About MY digestion—
Anything does for me!

Cats, you’re aware, can repose in a chair,
Chickens can roost upon rails;
Puppies are able to sleep in a stable,
And oysters can slumber in pails.
But no one supposes
A poor Camel dozes—
Any place does for me!


People would laugh if you rode a giraffe,
Or mounted the back of an ox;
It’s nobody’s habit to ride on a rabbit,
Or try to bestraddle a fox.
But as for a Camel, he’s
Ridden by families—
Any load does for me!

(Charles E. Carryl)
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
Nurse, can I have a little sugar to help the medicine go down?
There’s been a murder, a woman was killed,
found in a bathtub, partially filled.
A pair of policemen went into the house
and questioned the poor woman’s spouse.
He’d just come home from working all night
and found her like that, a terrible sight.
The younger policeman looked on with dismay.
He’d never forget that terrible day.
He saw the young woman from behind the door
and empty milk cartons all over the floor,
Scattered strawberries, slices of fruit,
and spoonfuls of sugar and honey to boot.
”Who could have done this terrible thing?”
His voice had a horrified, pitiful ring.
”Just look at the clues,” replied Sargeant Miller.
”It looks like the work of a cereal killer.” (Albert Van Hoogmoed)
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