Jokes > Tags > See


“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”
Joan Rivers
“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
Ellen DeGeneres
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
Will Ferrell
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
Abraham Lincoln
“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”
Jay Leno
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.

“Aha”, says the engineer, “I see that Scottish sheep are black.”

“Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”.

“No”, says the mathematician, “All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!”
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me (speaking slowly): "No, not space.. Car go ROAD."
Manager: " Can I see you in my office?"
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'