Santa Jokes

Santa isn't the only one coming to town.
Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight.
A Funny Christmas Tale
A Funny Christmas Tale Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation, Not a deputy stirred, they were all on vacation. The stockings were hung on the wall with great care, Next to some T-shirts and old underwear. I was working the night shift compiling stats, Answering the phone, and feeding the rat. When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter, I leapt from my desk to see what was the matter! I opened the door with a creak and a crick, And saw a jolly red fat man I knew must be St. Nick. I had seen his picture a time or two, He was wanted: Article 27 - Section 342. I threw open the door and commanded him "Freeze!" "Put your hands on you head and get down on your knees." But he turned and he ran, up the chimney he flew, with me in pursuit, toward Booth St. I knew. When we got to the roof Santa made for his sleigh, Throwing down toys and blocking my way. As I got to the peak, he threw down some crack, I slipped and I fell landing flat on my back. To my front I was faced with a toy M-1 tank, And Pink Power Rangers covering my flank. "On Dasher, on Dancer!", he cried loud and clear. Then I got off three rounds and just missed the lead deer. And I heard Santa say as he sailed into the blue, "Merry Christmas to all! My Lawyers will sue!"
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips
Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December.
There is a Santa clause.
Forget Santa, you’re on my nice list.
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.
Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice.
Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?
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