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Elvis Pick Up Lines
Girl give me a chance and I will show you a world of our own where spell of love began and our hearts become one
Funny Health Quotes
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
Friendship Quotes
"The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families."
— Jay McInerney
“God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.”
— Unknown
“I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.”
— Unknown
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract."
Yard Puns
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
During the divorce, the judge couldn't decide who got the shack in the backyard, despite our numerous arguments.
It was a case of he shed, she shed.
I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard.
I don't know why, but they seem shady.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
Drugstore Pick Up Lines
Girl, you're so expensive, my insurance is requiring prior authorization before our first date.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Mall Pick Up Lines
Did you know this mall has a movie theater? I just saw a preview of our life together. Looks pretty good!
Did you hear that? They're playing our future song on the speakers!
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