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One

Can birds sell cereal to children?
I don't know if one can, but toucan.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.

Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.

Child: Yea...

Dad: Then why is there only one?
Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...
I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.
Just found two lumps on my car battery.
Got them tested, one came back positive. I hope it's not terminal.
I've been searching for three years for my mother-in-law's killer... but apparently no one will do it.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
My girlfriend keeps saying that a small dick is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she hadn't got one.
Two condoms are walking down the street...
They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.