Naomi had a reputation for being nasty, which followed her all the way to the gates of St. Peter. “You said some pretty awful things to your husband,” says St. Peter. “Like when he bought that sharp-looking hat.” “I’m sorry,” says Naomi, “but that thing made his ears look enormous.” St. Peter shakes his head. “And the skinny jeans? He’s got the legs for it.” “I’m sorry,” she says, “but I can’t get past his bony knees.” He sighs. “And the beard? Big fans up here.” She shakes her head. “Look,” says St. Peter, “if you expect to get past these gates, we’ll need a genuine apology.” Naomi takes a breath. “I’m sorry.” “Good,” says St. Peter. “…but with feet like that, you really shouldn’t wear open-toed sandals.”