I had a phone conversation this morning with a very nice young fella from India. This is how it went: "Hello sir, how are you today?" "I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?" "Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft". "Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in India? How's the weather there today?" " No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -" "REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......" "Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you-" "No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer". "You don't?" "I don't". "Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -" "Don't have one". "Ipad?" "Nope". "Tablet?" "Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone". After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!" I said "Well, you started it!!" and hung up.

People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms, so here's a list: WWW World Wide Wait COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis DOS Defective Operating System OS/2 Obsolete Soon 2 BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM I Blame Microsoft SAP Slow And Painful BSDO Blue Screen of Death Google Gradually Overcoming Our Ghastly Legal Environment Yahoo You Always Have Other Options