Light bulb

How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
The Human Lightbulb
The Human Lightbulb Two blondes are working at a warehouse. One blonde, tired of working, says to the other: “Watch this, I’m going to act crazy so that the boss will send me home.” She climbs up the racking and hangs from the rafters yelling “I’M A LIGHTBULB, I’M A LIGHTBULB, I’M A LIGHTBULB!!” “What are you doing?! Get down from there and GO HOME!” shouts the boss. The second blonde picks up her toolbag and heads towards the door. “Where in the HELL do you think you’re going??” the boss exclaims. “Well, I can’t work in the dark!”
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
How many Conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The invisible hand does it.
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it, and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
He planted a light bulb and thought he'd get a power plant.
How many Chinese folks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't change lightbulbs, then just dim sum.
Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.
Gilda Radner
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.
How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture.
This Psych Patient Is Just Hanging Around
This Psych Patient Is Just Hanging Around A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his foot. The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor. The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?" "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light bulb." The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?" "What? And work in the dark?"