Lawn

“There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass.'”
What do lawn ornaments do over winter break? Go gnome for the holidays.
I've done it -- I've done mown the lawn,
But my muscles are aching and torn.
I could swear there are some,
In my legs and my bum,
I've not used since the year I was born.
I just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.
he's just going through a rough patch.
Why are men se*ier than women? You can't spell se*y without xy. Why are men like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells and don't work half the time!
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don't work.
Why did God even create men?
Because He couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator that would mow the lawn.
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.