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Kid

Funny Limericks
I know an old owl named Boo,
Every night he yelled Hoo,
Once a kid walked by,
And started to cry,
And yelled I don't have a clue!
One Liners for Kids
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
Dirty Short Jokes
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Did you hear about that kid that had se* with his teacher? Yeah, he recently died from hi-fiving.
Insults & Comebacks
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
Clever Jokes
A hydrogen molecule gets arrested.
His mother comes down to the police station to bail him out. She is met by the detective working the case.
I don’t understand it, says the mother. Hydrogen was always a good kid. I never had any problems til he met oxygen.
Don’t worry, says the detective. The situation is fluid but he won’t be charged.
Food puns
Why did the kid keep falling off his bike? It had a banana seat.
Quotes
When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.
Rita Rudner
One Liners and Short Jokes
If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?