Health

Asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight...
to fulfill my fantasy that we have health insurance.
What's brown and very bad for your dental health?
A baseball bat.
Selective Hearing
Selective Hearing Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." The doctor said: "I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful."
A man is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
A woman gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.