Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
Harry asks his wife Harriet: "What would you like as a present for your birthday?"
Harriet looks at him sarcastically and yells "A divorce!" and then throws her head back and laughs.

Harry looks down wringing his hands, "I wasn't thinking of spending that much."
I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.
I’m dead Sirius.
What do you call a persian that smokes pot? Harry Potter.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
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