Harry

Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
What do you call a persian that smokes pot? Harry Potter.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
Harry asks his wife Harriet: "What would you like as a present for your birthday?"
Harriet looks at him sarcastically and yells "A divorce!" and then throws her head back and laughs.

Harry looks down wringing his hands, "I wasn't thinking of spending that much."